What Do You Guys Think?

Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs

I posted this already on Facebook last week but I was reluctant to comment too much on it since I don't want people to think I'm/Mormons are crazy.

So, friends, what do you think of this post?

A Change Gonna Come

Isn't change an odd, unexpected thing sometimes? I have a love/hate relationship with change as I'm sure most people do. We got an offer on the house earlier this week and Adam and I both had a flood of emotions. Relief. Finally, we will be officially unburdened by home ownership. But mostly there was a lot of unexpected sadness. We were both a little misty-eyed as we talked about the reality of leaving our home, the only home our children have ever known, in less than two months. Two months! For years, the house has felt like dead weight-- the mortgage, the upkeep, the repairs, the mortgage, the mortgage, the mortgage, always hanging over our heads, month after month after month. So the sadness caught me a little off-guard. I finally realized that I really do love our home. Over the years I've called it many a name but when it comes down to it, it's been a great little home. We love our ward and have made so many wonderful friends. Our neighbors are the most Christian-like neighbors in the world. Our kids love our house; it's their home. I'm not looking forward to hearing James ask after we move when we can go back to our house.
The interesting part is that the couple who made the offer is family to an acquaintance of ours so we looked them up on Facebook. Their pictures were for public viewing and it was like looking at ourselves five years ago when we bought the house. They are a very nice couple with an infant. I couldn't help but think about how excited we were when we bought this house, our first house. We had so many plans for our lives, for the house, for our family. Life really hasn't gone the way we thought it would. I guess that's the beauty of youth; we're so naive and inexperienced and full of optimism. It's very sad to think about all of the money spent updating the house only to lose it all and allow someone else to enjoy it. I am very happy, though, that this lovely family will be buying our home and not some faceless investor who would turn it into a rental. If this couple was like us, then I know they are excited to move in to their new home and start the next phase of their lives. I know they must really love it because they would have chosen one of the other 1000's of homes on the market in this area. It makes me happy to think that someone else really will enjoy and appreciate the fruits of our labors. I hope they enjoy our house as much as we did. It's small and the yard looks horrid and it only has one bathroom, but it was our home and it was good to us.
Now we look to the future and we are still optimistic and hopeful but a little more cautiously then we were five years ago. I know Heavenly Father is moving us in this direction for a reason. It was time for a change and now a change has come. We have two job prospects in the works so anything is possible. I know we will be taken care of now matter what happens. "Consider the lilies..."

Post-Op

This is a picture of James right before they took him back to the OR. It's clear that the "happy juice" had taken effect.
His surgery went really well and the dentist was very pleased that he was able to save his one really bad tooth. He was expecting it to be infected but was very happy that it was clean and fixable. Recovery went well and he had no negative side effects from the anesthesia. I am so thankful that excellent health care if so accessible in this country. I am thankful for modern science and medicines which keeps our children happy and healthy. I know these things are unobtainable luxuries for millions and millions of people in the world. That smile is priceless!

On a completely unrelated note, today in the car he said out of nowhere that he was not "ever going to marry any dumb ladies because fireman don't marry ladies so I'm not going to marry any dumb ladies." Well, I guess that settles it.

Adam and Settling

I was at the library earlier this week and saw this book on the shelf and was instantly drawn to it. Why? Don't worry, I'm not thinking about leaving Adam. I guess I just love to read about relationships and what makes them work. This book was so fascinating that I could not stop reading it. I finished it in less than two days. Even Adam started reading it. It's all about expectations, judgment, and superficiality when it comes to choosing a mate.
This book got me thinking about a lot of things but mostly about Adam and I and how we met and dated and finally decided to get married. Let me just say that our dating relationship was tumultuous, a bit like a roller coaster.
I related a lot to some of the women in this book when I was single. Before I met Adam, I had a pretty specific idea of the "type" of guy that I wanted to marry-- edgy, but not too edgy, intellectual, had to love books/literature, had to like music, had to be witty and fun, a strong testimony, good family, brunette, definitely HAD to be older than me, a returned missionary, NOT a business major, good teeth, nice hands, a certain type of dresser, etc, etc, etc. You get the idea. I rejected several men because I felt like they just weren't my "type." I was, however, completely (or so I thought) in love with a friend of mine for five years and I kept thinking that someday he would decide to feel the same way about me. We were in the same ward and one day after church I came home and FINALLY realized that it was never going to happen. I said a prayer and told Heavenly Father that I was ready to get married but didn't know what I needed to do and that I was open to suggestions. I got the impression that I needed to start looking beyond my expectations and to broaden my horizons.
It was only a few weeks later that my sister and I went to a CES broadcast together and she stopped by to pick up Adam because she felt sorry for him because he just got home from his mission and didn't have any friends. Keep in mind that I was 26 at the time and he was 21. Well, he came out of his house and he looked so hot but definitely young. Anyway, from there it eventually led to dating. As I got to know him, I wanted to break up with him because he was so young, he didn't like books, he wasn't an academic. The things that kept me hanging on were that he had an incredibly strong testimony and took the gospel very seriously, he came from a great family, he was a hard worker, and we shared a love for travel.
Well, we broke up more than a few times because of my reservations and he had some because he had never dated anyone before me and felt that he needed to gain more experience before he decided to get married. We dated for about nine months, going back and forth. He finally decided to spend a month in Europe and broke up before he left. I guess you could say that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder because it gave me a lot of time to think. I finally realized that, just because we didn't share many hobbies, didn't mean we were incompatible and that what we did share was by far the most important-- love of the gospel and similar views on raising children and the importance of family.
Obviously, we did decide to get married even though we were both very scared. And you know what I've realized since then is that similar hobbies really don't matter. Especially once you start having kids because you don't have time for those things anymore anyway. What bonds us together is watching our children grow, going through struggles together, and trying to live good lives. One of my single friends told me awhile ago that he wasn't interested in someone because there wasn't a 'spark' but I'm here to say that my best relationship didn't start with a spark but more of a warmness that eventually turned into lasting love.
Adam hates it when I tell this story because he always interprets it as me deciding to "settle" on him but that's not my point at all. My point is, I was being way too judgmental and petty to actually give ANY one a chance-- no one was ever good enough. I'm really glad that I learned that lesson in time to meet Adam and actually give him a chance. I'm amazed now that I ever got married. I love Adam and this book has helped me appreciate my him and our decision even more. I have it pretty darn good--I have a good relationship built on mutual understanding, commitment, and selflessness, although I know I can do better in the latter area.
In retrospect, it amazes me how I ended up with someone totally unlike all of the other guys I had dated. Even some of my male friends didn't quite get why I kept dating him and eventually married him. I think, at the time, they thought that maybe I was settling but that just wasn't the case. I just finally came to the realization that my expectations were totally unrealistic and that if I wanted to be married and happy then I needed to really narrow down what was important.
I guess I got caught up in the misconception of the romantic comedy romance. It's a lie-- a myth devised to distort what love is and convince women that we're princesses. Real love takes actual work and I'm not totally sure that I really even knew what love was when I got married. I loved Adam then but not anywhere close to how much I love him today. And to think that I almost dumped him for good... what a fool I was.
PS: There is also a fascinating section on divorce.

Christmas 2010

We had a fantastic Christmas! The kids were overly blessed with gifts. James was up by 6:30am and he was so excited! We let him open presents without Ruby since she usually sleeps until 7:30 or 8. We knew it would be impossible to hold James off for that long. My mom bought each of the kids a very nice toy to open from Santa Christmas morning-- a new bike for James and an awesome interactive dollhouse for Ruby which she LOVES! Also, a few nights before Christmas I heard a knock at the door. When I opened the door no one was there but a large bag with two wrapped gifts was on the doorstep labeled for each of the kids from "Santa" and an envelope for Adam and I. I suspect it was someone very generous and thoughtful from the ward. The gift for James turned out to be a fire station (he was thrilled!) and a new doll for Ruby (she loves babies!). It really made Christmas extra special knowing that someone was thinking of us and specifically our children. I really hope that someday we will be a position to do fun things like that for people.
The rest of the day was pretty hectic. We raced over to Adam's parents and opened more gifts then went to my family's where we opened more gifts then back to Adam's parents so we could talk to Uncle Aaron who's serving in Brazil then home by 6:30. We were all totally exhausted but it was great to have spent the day with family.

James' Diagnosis

I know I should be posting about Christmas but I'm too tired and sick to download the photos and then write a post about them. Instead, this post is about the non-Christmas related events that have been happening around here, mostly about James.
We had a very interesting week leading up to Christmas. Adam got a call out of the blue from the man he had been working with for a year to get THE job that he was officially rejected for a few months ago. Another position has opened up in the company in Utah and this guy called Adam and invited us to attend a Christmas party at his home where several other reps with the same company would be in attendance. He seemed pretty excited about us coming and for the opportunity for Adam to network with these guys. We were so excited to have been invited and I was less excited about actually attending. I really had no desire to go and make small talk but I was, of course, ready to put on my party face and make a great impression. The night we were to leave for said party, this guy calls Adam and says he's really sorry but he didn't check with his wife first before inviting us and she was really upset because she had planned for a specific number of people. Basically, he was uninviting us. WHO DOES THAT? Anyway, so we canceled our plans and they had a nice conversation about him setting up a meeting for Adam with a really good contact in the company after the first of the year. So, it wasn't that bad. The guy is still going way out of his way to try and help Adam land this other job. It's pretty flattering actually considering this guy really doesn't even know Adam that well but has been so impressed with him that he really wants to work with him within the company. At least we have a ray of hope that a better job is in the works for us. It's pretty frightening to even get our hopes up because it honestly was like dealing with a death after we didn't get that job. It was one of the hardest times of our married life. Hopefully, 2011 will be a good year for us.
Anyway, moving on to James. So, a few days before Christmas James started screaming again from tooth pain. I called our dentist and of course he was out of the office until January 3rd. I talked to the receptionist for a while and explained the situation. She said, "Well, I would just be really surprised if there is anything wrong if you just had him in a couple of weeks ago and the doctor thought everything looked good."
Me-- "Well, how do you explain his screaming in pain, then?"
Her-- "Oh, I don't know I just do paperwork."
The conversation ended with her saying she would call the dentist and she would call me right back. Yeah, right. I could tell by her tone that I wasn't going to hear from her. So I asked her if she could at least recommend a pediatric dentist and she said no that I would just have to call around and good luck because everyone was probably already gone for the holiday. I felt like screaming at her, "Merry Christmas to you too, you heartless jerk!" Oh yeah, and she also said I would have a hard time since he's on Medicaid and most doctors aren't taking any more Medicaid patients. I was already starting to panic enough as it was without her telling me all of this.
I went to the Medicaid website and started calling all of the pediatric dentists on the list (only about 15 total). Every office I called either didn't accept Medicaid anymore or they were closed for the holidays. I was freaking out. I have a child screaming in pain and no one would help us because he's on Medicaid. Why should my child have to suffer just because he's on Medicaid? It's not his fault that they don't reimburse enough to cover costs. And there was no way in hell I was going to take him to the butcher shop known as Small Smiles. The reviews I've read about that place are chilling.
Finally! The last dentist, Dr. Larry Meadors, answered the phone and cheerfully said they could see him the Monday after Christmas. I was so relieved that someone was willing to help us.
I took him in on Monday and they took x-rays (first dentist office hadn't done x-rays in over a year) and the x-rays showed that his tooth was almost rotted and needed to be pulled and a spacer put in for the permanent tooth. His molar on the other side needs to have a pulpotomy and there are two other really small cavaties that need to be filled. Finally, some answers as to why he has been screaming in pain. Poor little guy. I would venture to say that he has had problems since Halloween with this but our family dentist seemed to think everything was fine.
Dr. Meadors wants to put him out and do surgery at the hospital since he's so little and there's quite a bit of work that needs to be done. The crappy part? The hospital initially set his appointment for February 3rd! The soonest they had an operating room. There was a cancelation so now his appointment is January 13th which is still three weeks away. We are supposed to just ride it out on codeine until then. I feel so frustrated and helpless. He's not really sleeping unless he's doped up and he's cranky and tired during the day. I'm thankful we at least have a plan in place but I pray there will be another cancelation so we can get into the OR even sooner. I hate seeing him suffer. I am absolutely powerless to alleviate his pain other than with codeine and a lot of times he still screams for another 30 minutes until the medication starts to take effect. My poor little James has been suffering all this time.
I asked Dr. Meadors why he has all of these problems when we brush very faithfully twice a day and I'm the one doing the brushing. He said some kids just have weaker teeth than others.

Fam Update

I just realized that I haven't posted anything in a long time that has really been going on in our family. A while ago I started noticing that James has been increasingly tired and lethargic. I didn't really think it was anything until it wouldn't go away. He has been agitated, irritable, and chronically fatigued. I thought maybe he had mono or an elusive infection of some kind so I took him to our family practitioner. The doc examined him and couldn't find anything outwardly wrong with him so he ordered a blood draw and then referred us to a pediatric cardiologist after he detected a normal-sounding murmur.
His blood work came back normal according to our family physician.
A few days later James was complaining about a tooth that he has had worked on before and I thought immediately that that must be the root of his problems. I took him to the dentist on Monday and the dentist was very pleased with the way his tooth looked and didn't even charge us for the visit but called it a "follow-up" appointment (best dentist ever!). I left with mixed emotions. I was certainly happy that his tooth was fine and no more work was required but I was also wondering what was wrong with him.
We also met with the cardiologist on Monday and an ultrasound of his heart was conducted. She said the murmur that our family physician had heard was a thickening of his aortic valve that makes a strange sound when his heart pumps. She said that at this time it isn't restricting blood flow but it will need to be checked every two years or so as he grows as it will continue to thicken as stiffen with age. She said the likelihood of it ever restricting blood flow is fairly small which is good. However, she wants to monitor his heart for 24 hours (EKG) this Friday just to make sure his heart impulses are "firing" correctly.
She also said that his thyroid levels on his blood test were borderline low and they will recheck in a month to make sure that he really is a little low on TSH and not just some fluke. This diagnosis makes the most sense to me. Thyroid problems run rampant in my family including myself, my father, and my brother. It would also explain his chronic fatigue and somewhat restless sleep. Although a hypothyroid person my feel fatigued all of the time, it actually inhibits sleep. I can personally testify to that. However, I guess we will see what the second test reveals. Although I would never wish that diagnosis on my child, I'm hoping that's what the problem is-- it's easy to treat, it's not life-threatening, and it would finally explain why my little man is so, so tired all of the time.

As for Ruby, we moved her into James' room which has helped with bedtime immensely. I no longer have to lay down with James while he goes to sleep which I actually didn't mind because it only took about 5-10 minutes. It has also helped with James not getting up in the night to come into our room. I guess he was just lonely and scared and wanted a little company. Ruby has adjusted well to the change and I think it has sort of brought them closer together. They have been playing more together the last few days.
Ruby is growing so fast and has transformed from a baby into a little girl seemingly overnight. She ends many of her sentences with, "right, mom?" or "right, James?" It's pretty adorable. She is like her mom in that she loves to make people laugh. She's always making these crazy faces with her eyes rolled back in her head and then she laughs and laughs. She seems much more carefree than James.
Adam started working nights I think two weeks ago now? Something like that. It's been pretty sucky adjusting to the new schedule. I know the kids miss him and I feel like I never see him. I have felt like a single parent since he started this new shift. I'm grateful he has a job but I really hope it's just temporary until something better comes along.