isolation

it's a very strange thing, at times, being a stay at home mom. i realized the other day how much time i spend alone with a 17 month old and the toll it's taken on my brain. i was driving in the car alone, which almost never happens, and i noticed a flag flying in the breeze a short distance ahead. i instinctively said out loud in my sweet, motherly tone, "oh, look! there's the flag! it's a big one!' shortly after uttering these words aloud, the thought struck me that i was the only one in the car. there was no baby to giggle and point and coo at the pretty flag.
it's funny how i forget that i'm actually kind of a funny and interesting person until i'm around other grown-ups again. i attended a baby shower last week and, as i was leaving early, was shocked when one of the grown-ups that i'd never met before, said, "you're leaving? you're so hilarious. you're keeping this party going." i just stood there dumbfounded and was tempted to look behind me to see if she was talking to someone else. me? hilarious? i suppose she mistook my advice to the mom-to-be as my attempt at being humorous. "don't let the baby play with knives, swords, fire or poison." in actuality, my brain is so soft and foggy that when it was my turn to introduce myself and give a little advice to the mother-in-waiting-- that was the first thing that popped into my head. everyone else had all of this heart-warming advice. "there's no place like grandma's," "don't be afraid to baby her," "write down your memories because she'll grow up so fast," etc... me? I like to go for the obvious. perhaps that's the benefit of isolation-- my brain may be soft and i may not be able to speak coherently, but at least now i'm the life of the party.