This is an amazing, heart-wrenching video. It makes me so grateful for the knowledge I have of the plan of salvation and the peace that is only found in the atonement of Jesus Christ. Surely Christ and Heavenly Father have shed many tears with this poor mother in her unbearable hours of grief, just as they weep with us in our times of trouble. I want my children to know and understand that the life we enjoy today was not given to us cheaply. From the founding of this country, many lives have been sacrificed in order to preserve our freedom. I want my children to live with a feeling of gratitude for those who have gone before and those who are serving now. We had such a nice time at the Memorial Service at the Veteran's Cemetery yesterday and I hope to make it an annual tradition for our family. As one Vietnam veteran put it, there's still lots of time left in the day to have barbecue's and parties but the day should start with remembering.
This is the week! Adam flies out tomorrow night to Omaha and then has a ride along Tuesday and his final interview Tuesday. We will know if Sioux Falls is our destiny by Wednesday. Crazy.
Sorry about last Sunday's post. I had hit a low point. The nausea is getting better; I'm just fighting an evil cold now which, I'm guessing is as bad as it is because my immune system is too weak to fight it off. My pants are still falling off of me at 14 weeks. To me, I look horrible-- gaunt, pale, dry lips, sunken eyes.
Updates on the kids:
James is no longer acting like a psycho. Once he was done taking antibiotics he was back to his old self. He graduated from preschool last week and he finished a month of swimming lessons. He still won't put his face in the water and he was the only one in his class who refused to go down the waterslide on the last day. He recently took up fishing. He casts like a pro on an adult reel so we decided to buy him a cheap kid pole which would be easier for him to handle. He's awesome at casting. He loves it. I need to get my license so I can legally help him fish in a real lake or river. (I have so many fond memories of going fishing with my family as a kid. Mom would pack a picnic and we would drive to some random lake or stream in the mountains somewhere and we'd spend the day fishing and hanging out.) James can hit pretty dang good with a baseball bat. He's excited about his success.
Ruby, as much as I tried to discourage it, is totally into princesses. She spent a week with my mom when we went on the cruise and that's when she fell in love. She insists on wearing a dress everyday because princesses do. The dress-thing was kind of cute at first but now it's kind of annoying. She is in heaven when we go to Target and she gets to look at all of the princess toys; it's pretty evident the power of marketing on young, impressionable minds. Ruby's figured out how to tease and annoy her brother. So now they tease and annoy each other all day long. Sometimes they get along and play well together but usually it ends up with somebody crying. I now know why my parents were constantly yelling at us to "Stop fighting!!"
I am dreaming about this place today. I really wish I was there on beautiful Coco Cay. Most of all, I wish I was well again. I wish I didn't have to throw up anymore. I wish that I didn't have an ear infection on top of nausea. I wish Ruby didn't have a fever and an ear infection. I wish James would stop acting like a little psycho. I wish I could give Adam the time and attention he needs and deserves rather than half-closed eyes and a face filled with absolute apathy because I'm too sick to care about anything right now. I know this is not upbeat and I should probably only post things that are positive because I wouldn't want anyone to think I am human or anything. Anyway, I'm just very depressed today. It's been almost 2 months of misery, absolute misery. I don't want to be a sick, cranky mom anymore. I don't want to be an absent wife anymore. I just want my life back. The fun, care-free life of a person who enjoys good health. Maybe someday I'll be that person again. But not today.
There has been so much going on in our lives over the past month or so.
*We moved into Adam's grandma's house in southeast Boise and are sharing the house with Adam's cousin Kelly.
*I am about 10 weeks pregnant and seriously wish I was dead. It has been so awful. It has to be the highest form of torture to have to force yourself to eat while gagging and fighting off vomiting at the same time. It's such a horrendous thing. I've lost 10lbs so far. I'm not sure why some women are more sick than others because, no offense, but feeling 'a little queasy and a little nauseous' just doesn't count. I'm so sick of throwing up and tired of gagging in public places. I've been so fortunate to be able to go to my mom's house almost every day and she helps with the kids. Adam is such a wonderful, helpful, caring husband and father. I know the sickness is getting old for him too. Living with Kelly has also been really good. She has helped with the kids in the evenings and is so good with them. It was a blessing that we moved when we did because it was less than a week later and I was slammed with debilitating nausea. The timing could not have been more perfect. Mind you, I'm not complaining about being pregnant itself. We are excited and very grateful to be able to have another baby. We know that we are very lucky. Baby is due Nov 26 and I'm pretty sure it's a boy and doc guessed that it's a boy but only time will tell.
*Adam has his job interview for the Sioux Falls position next week in Omaha. We're excited but nervous as we have been through this with the same company twice before.