blah!

i haven't written anything for a long time. not that my entries are all that exciting or thought-provoking. i've been in survival mode. i'm about two and a half months pregnant and i've been puking my guts out for the last two months. needless to say, it's really hard to care about anything when you're wishing for death. i wish men could experience this for just one week. adam is very patient and understanding and helpful but i know he has no idea what i'm experiencing. i have such profound respect for any woman who has more than a couple of children. it is so hard! i think it's the hardest thing i've ever had to go through physically and emotionally. i'm so thankful there's an end to it. i can't possibly imagine being literally deathly ill, having to take chemo treatments and feeling this way for months or even years. and i know there's going to be a happy ending for me. i'm so thankful for my health. you don't realize how wonderful it is to feel healthy until you're knocked to your knees. we are definitely on this earth to experience opposition in all things. everything has its opposite and of course we wouldn't learn if Heavenly Father hadn't designed it that way. sometimes it sucks. it truly does. but i have savored those moments where, for a few moments or for a few hours, there's a reprieve from the nausea and i almost feel good. it's a wonderful feeling.