Good News

It's amazing the effect a little good news can make in your life. Adam has been unemployed for about 19 months now. That's almost 2 years! (They should make a blog ticker for that. Ha!) I won't say it has been easy because it has pretty much sucked royally. And it has become much more stressful within the past six months. Adam went off unemployment and has been waiting and networking with a guy since November about a particular job. He has applied and looked for jobs almost daily. Unless you have been unemployed recently you really have no idea what it's like to be without a job in this awful economy. Entry level positions four years ago now require a minimum of 3-4 years of experience. And it almost seems fruitless to even apply for any job if you have little experience in that field. Employers are receiving 100's of resumes for one job and there is always a ton of other people who are way more qualified and have way more experience. It has been very discouraging, very frustrating, and at times, very depressing. We have been told countless times to just go get a job at Home Depot or someplace like that. Well, that would be a great solution if those places were ever hiring and when they were, even with Adam's construction background, they didn't even call him for an interview.
The only way we have been able to survive month after month is mostly from my job and the random side work Adam has been able to pick up sporadically. It has been a struggle EVERY month. It is so stressful EVERY month wondering if we will have enough to pay the mortgage. Fortunately, it has worked out for us every month but not without blood, sweat, stress, and prayer. It is so draining to worry about money on a daily basis--Do I have enough for this $5 item?? And most of the time it would end up back on the shelf. I can easily see how financial difficulty can strain a marriage relationship. Not that Adam and I have/had issues but it definitely takes more work to be polite, courteous, and loving when you really feel like being snippy and jerky. We have made the most of a bad situation by working together.
There have been added stresses along the way--Ruby's multiple surgeries and extended hospital stay in November, James' ongoing health issues (having adenoids taken out tomorrow--Yay!), my ongoing health issues, preparing for Faith Quest, and a ton of small daily tasks that seem so overwhelming at times that I can't get off the couch.
Don't get me wrong. I know our situation is awesome compared to others'. We are fortunate that we have been able to stay in our home, that we have never missed or been late on a payment, that we have food and a car. We have all of the necessities of life as well as many luxuries. We live comparitively well to those who live in other parts of the nation and world.
That being said, we also don't want to live week to week for the rest of our lives. It would be so nice not to have to worry and fret over finances EVERY DAY of our lives.
But I digress. The title of this post is "Good News" so on with it, right? Well, the good news is Adam FINALLY heard back from his contact. He was supposed to call us like 2-3 weeks ago and day after day we heard nothing. We both were starting to lose hope and we were really depressed all last week. Finally, FINALLY he calls and said they are posting the job and he is still pulling for Adam to get it. Now, before you start to wonder where the good news is because it's not like we were offered the job, let me just say that it is an absolute miracle to be at this point. They posted the job and Adam is guaranteed an interview and his contact wants him to get it. Amazing!
Adam definitely has his work cut out for him. This is an extremely competitive business (surgical sales). It is close to impossible to break into it as they are very high paying jobs and very desirable. If you are unfamiliar with the industry, trust me, it will be a miracle if he is offered this position. For example, Medtronic, a very large medical device company, only hires ex-military and prefers ex-semi or professional athletes. Plus, there are 10 interviews. Plus, an intelligence test (ie: Why are manholes round?) It's absolutely crazy.
Adam read a book recently called "The Mormon Way of Doing Business" written by some big CEO. In it, he says he got to where he is because he expected miracles to happen and they did. We are and have been relying on faith, knowing that everything happens for a reason and that we can expect great things from the Lord whether we feel we deserve them or not. We have read and re-read the talk "Continue in Patience" by President Uchdorf. He said that we may have to wait for a long time and we sometimes won't realize the purpose of waiting until years later when we can look back and see the hand of the Lord in our lives. Waiting is hard, though. Especially for someone as impatient as myself.
I haven't really felt like myself in a very long time. I have felt so distracted--constantly working to make ends meet, constantly having that little worry in the back of my mind, constantly feeling guilty for lack of motivation, never being able to turn my brain off. I guess that's why I have not felt truly present emotionally and mentally when I am with other people. I'm not one to casually share my emotions, although I would answer ANY question posed to me. I feel like an open book in that way. I'm never offended and I would prefer people to be more blunt with each other. However, I know I tend to push people away and I'm sure I come across as really unapproachable, which is sad. I'm really hoping to get some of my old spunk and spark back along with a job for Adam.
I know there is a purpose to trials. My faith has increased over the last two years. I know the Lord will always take care of us, even if it's not in the way we would prefer. I know that he answers prayers, even if it's not in the way we would prefer. I know he blesses tithe payers for more than any monetary amount. I know He loves us and is there to comfort us. We don't know what is really going on in people's lives unless we ask. I know I seem outwardly strong and capable but things aren't always what they seem.
This post has been cathartic. I feel great! I feel full of hope and I'm excited for whatever the future brings, but I hope that future has a job in it:) We will know by mid-August. Wish us luck.