Eternal Perspective

Don't you just hate hearing the phrase "eternal perspective" sometimes? Especially when it relates directly to you? Perhaps I hate the phrase sometimes because I'm not actually ready yet to accept that things happen for a reason and I have no control over the situation except for how I react to it.

The details of what went down earlier this week are as follows:

Sort of realized Monday night it was going to happen as his application status had been changed to "No longer being considered." We had to wait an agonizing night before this information could be confirmed. We were hoping and praying it was some mistake.

Tuesday morning Adam gets a call from his contact he's been working with for the last year and he tells Adam that, unfortunately, someone had applied at the last minute with experience and they got along well. They couldn't justify not hiring him over Adam who has no experience in the operating room.

Some good news-- His contact said that he, the VP and Regional Manager who all interviewed Adam in his last interview, were completely blown away and impressed with his persistence, preparation, and interviewing skills. He said that he personally learned a lot from Adam and to not be discouraged. He said that the VP and Regional Manager were so impressed that they have already made the effort to contact people both within and without the company and that they really want Adam on their team wherever they can get him.

That helped soften the blow a little bit. Then, the RM called Adam later that night and basically said the same thing and that another division was going to be making some personnel changes in the near future and he would do all that he could to help him get the job if he is interested. I mentioned all of this to my brother, Greg, who works in the industry and he said that is a HUGE deal that those guys would even take the time to do something like that. Greg said they must have been super impressed to go to those lengths because that never happens in business. Higher-ups don't care, they move on with life, and business is business.

We were talking to Adam's dad yesterday and he said when he gave Adam a blessing right before his final interview, he just didn't feel like this was his job but he definitely felt like this was the right company and the right direction.

I know Adam still has some residual anger and he's very confused and depressed about this because he had received several strong impressions that THIS was his job. I think perhaps Heavenly Father wanted him to feel that way so that he would try his very hardest to stand out and impress them. Which he did. I guess the Lord doesn't want us in Salt Lake and, for whatever reason, not that particular job. I DO know that, throughout this year-long process, he has gained some powerful allies and connections and that OUR job will be found through those people. We have prayed and expected miracles. In this case, it takes time to bring about a miracle.

This morning, I read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell: "The thermostat on the furnace of affliction will not have been set too high for us--though clearly we may think so at the time. Our God is a refining God who has been tempering soul-steel for a very long time. He knows when the right edge has been put upon our excellence and also when there is more in us than we have yet given. One day we will praise God for taking us near to our limits--as He did His Only Begotten in Gethsemane and Calvary."

Adam and I have definitely struggled during the last two years but we have always been able to get by with my job, unemployment, sporadic work for Adam. We are, in a sense, stepping into the dark. With ZERO income now (my job is over), perhaps the hardest and final part of this trial is beginning. "We receive no witness until after the trial of our faith." This is it. We're down to nothing and now we have to trust that the Lord will guide us through the dark and into the light.

For the past month, Adam has been attending the temple daily. He made a covenant with the Lord that he would attend every day until he found a job. Yesterday, he was angry and didn't want to go. I decided I would go in his place with my sister and parents. As I was getting ready to leave, he was ironing his shirt and preparing his clothes for a morning session. It made me cry because that's why I married him. Because he has more faith than anyone I have ever seen. He is always willing and ready to sacrifice his time and his talents. He is always the first to volunteer for anything in the church, one of the few who stays to clean up after every ward activity, always ready to jump in and help wherever he is needed.